Time

So we are about one month into young Helena's life and things are going pretty well. It has been an adjustment and it's not easy maintaining a proper work/life balance even with Maya being off. It seems like I never have time to get anything done that isn't purely survival based. The I-85 bridge collapse has been awful. I think I may have, or should have, 20 minutes before work starts but then I get there just as work is starting or even late (for my first time ever to Dunwoody) because of the crazy traffic jams -as if Atlanta wasn't bad enough.

Lately, with tennis end of the year banquet, the French visiting, and lots of stuff going on at school, I'm often getting home after 8 with little to not time to hang with Helena. Sometimes, I'm just trying to get her to go to bed so I can do a little work, or so I can go to bed early but frustratingly none of those things happen. There's no predicting the babies reactions at this point and sometimes you can spend hours just trying to calm her down. It's tiring work and I am nervous for this summer when Maya and I switch roles.

Surprisingly (by definition also) Maya threw me a surprise birthday last weekend. It was really fun and nice to see so many people, friends I often don't get a chance to see anymore. It's especially impressive given how much attention Helena needs and for her to be preparing this party. It was a nice turn out with a crazy assortment of people in my life including Haig from Cameroun, Marc, the visiting teacher from France, old frisbee and soccer friends, teacher friends, neighbors, and others that we know.

This time of year is always hard, but just one month to push through until the end of the year. Thank God for weekends

Surprise! 

Parents

We are approaching two weeks of parenthood and it's been an interesting and challenging journey so far. It certainly is life changing, amazing, and a sleep-depriving experience as I had heard going into this. Simultaneously, it has revealed an incredible kindness that I would only have guessed could exist within my neighborhood and wider community of support. Neighbor's we've talked to a handful of times and wave hello at normally have brought food, wine, baby toys, and started a meal train for us. When our friend Jon walked Sherlock while we were in the hospital a group of moms cheered as they saw him and knew the baby must be on the way. Beyond that, friends and colleagues have sent us cards, stuffed animals, and other gifts and we are reminded everyday how joyous the life of a new human being is.

But all of this also reminds us about the privileged life we lead and how our new little girl, who we named Helena after my grandmother Hellen, also has quite the head start in life. Helena has two parents, in-laws and other family to help, a duala, and if she needed it lactation consultants. This is all of course in addition to the meal trains from friends, baby registries, and safe nice houses with educated parents who can take time off from work and research best practices and where and how to get help. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of stuff to learn (see this video for a good example) and by no means are we doing this "right" as first time parents relying heavily on the advice of YouTube and other parents who each have different babies. But we are making an effort certainly and we try not to let her (or ourselves) cry too much without giving her attention.

Speaking of crying and it's invariable lack of sleep, it is exhausting and probably the hardest parts of this. I'm doing ok. I don't mind changing diapers or putting her clothing on; obviously Maya has the much harder part with the feeding. Getting out for a few pick-up games of soccer and tennis after the first week or so locked inside was liberating. But the idea of putting my life truly aside for another human being is a new idea that will take some time getting used to. I am ok with giving up some things in my life and I can't think of anything more meaningful than this but I think as she grows up I will have much tougher choices to face between what I do for her and what I do for me.