Confessions of a gaseous man

So I have this problem - I pass a lot of wind. One problem specifically is at work, I pass gas when no one's around, but then my boss comes by as it lingers and it's really embarrassing. It's incredible too that this mostly only happens when she comes around (and it's a she so that makes things worse) and it's almost as if she times the once or twice a day when she comes over to my desk for when it stinks, and I mean it really stinks. She doesn't say anything but I know that she knows and that probably she know's that I know which is even worse since normally she just leaves as soon as possible after arrival with no comment and cutting her agenda short. I think I have a few options to remedy this situation and would like your opinion on this debacle:

1. Take beeno

2. Change my style so as to avoid the "time bomb" and make it somehow more instantaneous

3. Excuse myself and publicly acknowledge it

4. Walk the 30-40 ft. from my desk to the bathroom

I don't know if man has yet to find a solution to this but it truly is awful

Nudity: Not always a good thing

Yesterday a very large girl with a very large butt mooned me in Newport. It was not a pretty sight. She even asked beforehand, along with my two friends, whether it would be ok, to which we replied quite simply, "no," and she went ahead and did it anyways. I mean did she think we would enjoy this? It made me think that there's this perception that nudity is always a good thing and everything naked is more fun, and well I do believe there's some truth to that, this was a stretch (yes I know there's a double entendre there).

Speaking of girls (and not mooning) Danilo, my roommate in Jamaica Plain, said a great quote tonight. We were talking about how we really needed to start composting and he commented: "yeah, girls here love composting." After laughing about it for a bit we sort of thought it could be true. "They would be so impressed and we would be drawing them all in" he commented. While we were at it we could start using rain barrels and vermaculture - all very interesting ideas I suppose. It also made me realize how Jamaica Plain has changed me and how I would never have thought like this in the past.

I do wish I could write about girls more (since that's where most of the good stories are anyways right) but in the wishes of not defaming anyways I refrain in this blog. Suffice it to say that if I did I would probably embarrass myself more than anyone else.

If this song said "Andy" instead of "Dandi" it would be my theme song:

http://s0.ilike.com/play#Nortec+Collective:Dandy+Del+Sur:453729:s27492597.9571032.7360331.0.2.17%2Cstd_41e09a8dcfdf49e582f7434e308991bf

(does it bother anyone else that this stupid "Ilike" thing only lets you place the song once. We can obviously search around on the internet and find it somewhere -pandora, youtube, grooveshark, last fm, vimeo, the options are limitless these days. They can't stop us! oh wait, shoot, I don't want to tempt fate - I take it back)