They stole my chocolate milk

Now it's personal. I've been learning a lot about my students over the last few months and it seems like there's very little they wouldn't do. It's been a bit disappointing and shocking to see some of their actions. If I leave anything on my desk for more than a few minutes it's gone. A few students have commented that I really should be locking things away (as if to imply it's my fault...isn't that like telling a woman that it's her fault when she gets raped? What? Too far? Ok but this still seems like a ridiculous problem).

But the problem is just that, they are mostly stupid things that aren't even worth that much. Since I did not get a key to my desk draws I would have to buy a locker of some sort and it's just not worth it for chocolate milk, apple, all of the pencils and pens, iphone charger, sharpies, and even my whole puncher, which have been stolen. The teacher's edition of our book was one that hurt, but I luckily have one other copy that I keep at home. Maybe that student will learn more now. I joked to one class that I suspect could have some of these thieves that I'm surprised no one has taken my computer yet when I turn my head for one second.  They all think it's funny.

Another thing that's somewhat humorous is everyone calling me "Kessler." I'm not sure where it started but even my computer say's "Kessler" when I open it. I guess no one actually looked to see what my name was and correcting them seems to lag behind anything changing. The students have it right but with their accent it sounds more like "mista Kessel mista Kessel" all day over and over. What a strange new identity I've taken on.

There is a certain fun and dramatic act to teaching that I enjoy. But I am mostly just too exhausted and overworked to enjoy it most days. I can't imagine what normal, if there is one, teaching looks like and whether I'd want to make this a career yet.

Currently, the work load seems unbearable and never ending. I can't believe we waste so much money in education on stupid things like technology (ok technology is not stupid) but just having two teachers in a classroom of 35 instead of one would make so much more of a difference. What is the issue with this obvious observation besides payroll being expensive? Why have we not fixed our broken school system? Oh man, I sound like a broken record at a PTA conference.

Finally, very early on I've started to feel this "going through the motions" type thing that is so common in the education system. Friday I was given a special "English language learner" plan with a specific students accommodations because he is a Spanish speaker in the home. Previously I thought his English was alright but his grade is not very good at all in my class and maybe he's understanding less than I think. At the same time, getting this just now two months into the school year with no co-teacher, I don't know what I am going to do differently for this young man. I have 33 other students to worry about in his class and no extra time to print him special flash cards or anything. I feel like someone somewhere is checking a box that say's: "special English language learner taken care of!"

There's tons of acronyms in this industry, even more so than in others I think. "IEPs" (Individualized Education Plan") and 504's (students on medication) are common and again I wonder how much their "accommodation" plans really do anything without the resources to really accommodate. A few weeks ago I went to a "co-teaching" workshop for my one class with those special ed. students and my accompanying co-teacher. The intentions were good and the presenters were trying from what I could tell, but you could also tell that no one really wanted to be there. They let us go early at 2 PM to go home and again I had this sense of "check. Box being checked" with everyone going home early and being happy but also knowing that probably nothing was going to change when they got back to their classrooms.

But more so than the "motions" and going through them, the thing that has me most down was my experience with my first real test given to my class. Besides the ridiculously low scores, something like 37 Juniors in the class cheated and besides being disappointed and frustrating, like the chocolate milk being stolen right off of my desk, I just felt taken advantage of. I created multiple tests, had them seating in different places, and while no one ever got an answer key, someone passed on the questions (probably taking a picture on their phone...a problem we never had to deal with in our days).