(Not so) Upright Citizen's Brigade

People ask what my blog is about and I don't have a good answer as it's not just about travel, the obvious response given the extent of my travels, but I think adventure, humor, story telling (the chronicles of my life and actually remembering it), self deprecation, societal commentary, or any number of other terms could work. Or perhaps, as the blog is entitled "Turning Right on Red," it's about opportunism.

Although I am back in the U.S., away from the excitement of foreign cultures and travels, this dog hasn't yet kicked it's last bone (is that something people say?) What I mean to say is that my adventures continue in the U.S. and hopefully this blog won't get too boring.

Take my recent 1200 mile road trip from Shelburne, VT to Atlanta, GA, I had a Peruvian chicken adventure in NYC, snow storm in Washington D.C. (AKA the apocalypse for people down there not used to driving in the snow), spinning embarrassment in Charlottesville, and an adventure getting lost in Burlington NC and ending up at Papa Jon's (probably a semi-bad place inside of another semi-bad place) at 1 in the morning. That was followed by a horrible night sleep where the pipes froze in my friend's Chapel Hill house (probably rare for weather to be that cold there) as I tried to sleep on a tiny couch with a thin blanket and strange breathing problems. I'll elaborate on two of the potentially more interesting pieces:

1. Peruvian chicken

My friend Dave and I decided to go to the Upright Citizen's Brigade comedy show in NYC last weekend. It's a free show but you have to get there early to score a lottery ticket for the 9:30 evening show. We arrived early enough, around 6:45, but at the 8:15 drawing we fell 3 people short of the first 110 people to get in. This was particularly frustrating considering it was freezing as we waited in line and would have made it if five minutes before the drawing maybe 20 friends of the people waiting in front of us probably showed up and took the spots. This detail about frustration is important for the next part of the story.

Because we were so close we decided to wait in the standby in the hopes that some friend or family member of the cast who had reserved tickets wouldn't show up. This meant another hour and fifteen minutes of waiting in the freezing cold. Cold like you don't want to take your gloves off to text cold. Since we hadn't eaten any dinner Dave went to get some Peruvian chicken nearby and luckily we ended up getting into the show and sneaking our bag of food in with us! Immediately upon entry however we were told there was no eating allowed. We tried to behave but by half time (around 10:30) and having not eaten all night we were just too hungry. I kept nervously darting with my eyes looking out for the staff coming around as Dave cut out small morsels of delicious chicken for us to share.

We forgot just how aromatic this chicken below our seats was as after opening it for a few minutes and putting it away, the pungent smell still filled the air of the small basement-e comedy lounge. When the troupe came out they immediately commented that it smelled liked Mexican food or tacos. "Who's eating tacos in here?" one of them yelled. As we tensed in our seats and tried to look unfazed, the troupe started putting their noses to the ground making hound dog like noises. "Reveal yourself!" Yelled the lead actor. I was very tense and didn't want to get kicked out so we nervously kept quiet wondering whether our neighbors who obviously knew it was us would give us away. In the end we got away with it but we probably should have admitted it. Perhaps we should have placed the chicken on the front of the stage proudly, and given everyone more of a laugh, but these people are very clever and quick and basically jump on anybody who "participate" at the show and make you look stupid. Needless to say it was a really funny show and perhaps as important, a great chicken dinner.

2. Charlottesville spinning

I've never done spinning in my life. It always looked stupid, why go on a stationary bike with a bunch of other jabronis and some silly person directing you on a mic in the front? It's always seem to me like something you do if you live in the suburbs or too far from a mountain. When I showed up Charlottesville and my friend was going to the gym I decided to join since I had been sitting in a car driving all day. I thought the free Zumba class would have been a better thing to try but she convinced me that spinning was actually a great work out and my mantra is always try things once.

I was surprised thirty minutes later to find myself sweating through my shirt being told to imagine a big overlook "at the end of this hill." I regretted leaving my water in the car. As the instructor yelled through her mic (that part was as I had pictured it) "are you lucky?" Who's a lucky guy?" and Rod Stewart's "Some guys have all the luck" 80's tune blared in the background, I got off the bike to get some water. As I walked to the water fountain I actually almost fell down from dizziness. The corners of my vision started getting blurry and I snuck out through the back door to go fall down outside the classroom on a bench. I tried to get up twice and had to wait. It was ridiculous and embarrassing as I didn't feel like I was that tired. I realized the dehydration got to me. I got back to the class for the last ten minutes and I don't know if people noticed.

I think I could be an honorary member of the not-so upright citizen's brigade.