Friends

I think one of the hardest things about moving to a new place is finding new friends. You either don't want to put the work in or just don't find too many people that you can actually hold a conversation with. So what I'm wondering is whether the majority of people can't hold conversations - and if this is true what do these people do when they are hanging out, or if it isn't true, how is that most people probably feel the same way? And I'm not talking about some stupid conversation about oil prices going up or trans-gender people being accepted in to society - I mean more like who people actually are.

I have made a few friends since coming to Boston. In fact, most of the people I hang out with are lesbians at least 4 years my senior - They call me their "lesbro" since I am the one dude. It's funny that I never got along with lesbians before this because it's great being able to talk about girls with girls. It just sucks that even besides this horde of people all of my friends are girls. It is kind of weird telling people right now that I really just want to meet a cool guy, you know have a wing man or what ever. But then what if I do meet a cool guy who could be a good friend, what do I do? Ask him for his number? That might come off wrong.

Maybe I am having a hard time because some one saw me the other day walking the dog when he dropped a deuce and I didn't pick it up because I thought no one was looking and then that person told every one else.

the pluses and the minuses

+ I thought Boston might kind of suck - it doesn't (for the most part). I biked to Boston Common this week end for a "Life is Good" festival (man that company can get annoying) and low-and-behold they had Melvin Sparks and Robert Randolph and the Family Band playing a completely random free show. That was sweet.
- I don't like spending too much time with co-workers outside of work and that is pretty much how I spent the majority of my week end
+ I went to Water Country in Portsmouth, NH and relived my childhood years at the water park.
- Water parks in general are filled with chlorine and god knows how many other chemicals as well as urine filled water and inappropriately dressed 14 year old girls. Water Country is no exception.
+ On the way back we got some surprisingly good Polynesian food at Kowloons - the most ridiculous restaurant (see above) - They had decadent fountains, weekly entertainment (I guess they have a sex hypnotist on Friday nights - don't ask me what he does), and menus the size of Shaquille O'Neill head. Additionally, the chicken on the pineapple (also pictured above but hard to tell) came out flaming - big +
- This restaurant is off of Route 1, just north of Boston, and if any body has ever driven there they know how disgusting this segment of the road is. Every other building is a completely over the top version of what ever chain exists in the country. The McDonald's arches are bigger than ever, there is some Tex Mex place with a ginormous cactus, seafood place with full sized boat, you get the picture - this type of stuff is no longer a novelty but just like the Mall of America in Minnesota, a disgusting representation of the extravagance of our waste in this country.
+ Every one should visit these waste sites from time to time when looking for inspiration in chanting: "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
+ I just heard about some M.I.T. research being done for these cell phone chargers that will store energy from within a women's brassiere from the simple every day movement of their breasts.
- Men cannot participate (except fat man) and women with smaller breasts will not power their cellphones as quickly (or maybe at all unless shape might play a factor). More research will need to be done on this.

The mix was a little bit off that day

1.The title of this entry is supposed to refer to two previous recent incidents where the mix was a little bit off (esp. one of them) but just now coming back from Somerville I felt like it was a little off too. I decided to bike seeing as it was nice out and 20 miles in Boston by car can take just as long. It took me literally 10 minutes to get a stubborn pigeon, who for some reason, decided he didn't want to leave my bike's handlebars- I was brushing him with my hand and my bike lock and he still wouldn't fly away - so weird, I have never seen any thing like this. These city pigeons are just no longer afraid of any thing. Then I got a little off track and had to walk next to Storough drive with my bike on a one foot section of grass (major highway like road through Boston) for several miles to get back - this was incredibly scary as cars were flying by me at 60 Mphs. Why didn't I take a bike map you may ask? The answer is that I did but was too stubborn to use it.

2. A few nights ago I was hanging out with my new friend here who had applied for a job at Equal Exchange and I had invited another Equal Exchange person to join us. This person, who is new, actually ended up getting the same job that my friend had applied for but I had glossed over this minor detail when inviting everyone. While it was definitely awkward when I realized this when we went to hang out, it was not nearly as bad as what happened next. Us 3 went to a bar and just happened to run in to another Equal Exchange employee - but not just any one - it just so happened to be the woman who did both of their hirings - ouch, talk about awkward moment and a lot of silence...not a good mix.

3. What I really wanted to write about was my trip to the dentist a few weeks ago. I had to get fillings and I was already a little concerned with my new dentist here in Boston (seeing as they were completely random but only a few minutes from my house) but decided to give it a chance - BIG MISTAKE. I have never seen such shoddy and unprofessional work. The assistant was falling asleep during the procedure and when the dentist asked her for tools she gave him the wrong ones and when scolded replied: "It' Monday." These are my teeth we're talking about - I don't care what day it is! The real problem came later in the day when parts of the filling were coming off in my mouth. Doing sale's calls as silver bits and pieces came out of my mouth was not easy - I asked if this was a problem and they told me to come in. Turned out, luckily, my teeth are fine but the dentist did reply when asked if it was normal: "yeah, the mix was a little bit off that day."

Best Show East of the Mississippi

So this post has been a long time coming and obviously long over due. This picture is from my recent trip back to Burlington for my dad's surprise 60th Birthday. Some times it is scary when I think about how we are all getting older and then I remember that I am still 23, and that's pretty good. I met this street performer on Church Street during Jazz Fest who claimed, when I asked if his show was any good (I have this terrible problem that I inherited from my father if asking if things are good in situations where the answer is that they obviously have to be good), that it "is the best show East of the Mississippi" - well this claim was incredible enough that I had to ask to get my picture taken with him. Unfortunately I missed the show so I will never know if it was truly better than some of those shows just west of the Mississippi, like in Cape Girardeau Missouri.

I did get to do some cliff jumping with my friend Joey and that is always a blast despite my fear of heights-I will never jump the 76er but the 35 is still pretty high at Red Rocks - I highly suggest it (see below for random youtube video of random kids jumping off some unspecified height at Red Rocks - come on give me some credit, I'm trying to incorporate some more media in to this thing). Another highlight, I don't like to brag, but what the hell I will, was beating my older brother and father in golf - although it was his birthday so I kind of felt bad, but I played the round of my life and am now thoroughly addicted - it's a shame I chose one of the most pricy sports on the world to be addicted to. Yet another highlight would have been Free Cone Day at Friendly's (Friendly's is paying me hundreds of dollars to mention them in my prestigious blog) but sadly when we arrived minutes after the 5 pm deadline they wouldn't give us a free cone even though they were still selling cones. It's a small thing, but this type of customer service goes a long way and their whole generous free cone day thing comes off as kind of half ass this way too. What's even worse than this type of thing is when the video store is already closed when you get there 10 minutes before closing. My dad use to say that my grandfather would come back and open the store up again for people who would come even 30 minutes late to our family business: Lynn Lumber (does this make up for my link to Friendly's?) I sort of wish we operated on the same clock that they did in Cameroon when I was there - what ever you feel like and when ever. Although I guess this did create massive problems most of the time.

Hell's Kitchen

I watched the show Hell's Kitchen the other night - no I didn't actually watch it but my roommate rented some season on Net Flix and I got sucked in to watch 2 episodes. At first I was fascinated at how any one could watch this crap but then I realized that the ridiculous drama of these amateur cooks was kind of entertaining. I hate to write another blog entry relating to cooking but I could not hold back; especially after the real drama from my cooking class as of late.

Two classes ago we had a mentally handicapped kid who was supposed to come with his sister as an aid. Of course she doesn't show up and who ever dropped him off said he would be fine and he could use knives. Sure enough, a few minutes in to the class he cuts himself and starts bleeding everywhere. He doesn't go for help he just keeps cooking bleeding all over the ingredients. When the teacher finally gets him to bandage it, he decides he doesn't feel like wearing the bandage and takes it off a few minutes later and continues to bleed. As you can imagine, everyone was freaking out and things finally ended with this kid being kicked out of the class and the screaming aid threatening to sue for prejudice against the handicapped.

Also not surprisingly, the class size dropped dramatically for the last two classes even with this kid gone (I guess people didn't like the idea of blood in their food) but tonight we lost yet again another student. This time, a girl in the class who has constantly complained about how bad the instructor is (in all fairness she is pretty bad) got fed up with the teacher as the teacher kept grabbing her pan and cooking it the way she saw was best rather than instructing her how to cook differently. It happened three times to the same girl before she lost it and screamed: "YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE THIS CLASS AND YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TEACHER AND I"VE HAD ENOUGH, I"M OUT!!!" IT was easily the most dramatic exit I've seen in awhile and it left every body else (all 5 of us) frozen not knowing what to say. It truly did seem like a scene from the show Hell's Kitchen.

On a side note, out of nowhere there finally appeared a hot girl but with all this drama she almost just seemed like a side show.

So I'm off for my second business trip. First, I'm going to D.C. for Memorial day week end to visit friends and from there to Phili. for a week of business. Until next time...

They can't fire me now - I'm on the map

These come up when you click on the states on the Equal Exchange website:

Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland & Delaware Sales Rep
Andrew Kessel
akessel@equalexchange.coop
Phone: 774-776-7387

Pennsylvania Sales Rep
Andrew Kessel
akessel@equalexchange.coop
Phone: 774-776-7387

I have major heart burn right now

My chest feels like it's about to explode. No seriously, not joking, it really does. Does any one have those random moments of intense pain where they feel like they might die or some thing and in reality they probably just need to drink some water? That's me right now, except I can't drink any water because I can't move...at least I can type and if you are going to be stuck in pain any where for a period of time what better place than at your keyboard with your blog, face book and nba.com as your tabs when you get distracted, and some good tunes.

I probably feel this way because I ate nothing but muffins for dinner and then came home and drank some beers - but this is not entirely my fault. Amongst other things since I have last blogged, I've joined a cooking class. I really am an active person when I'm not experiencing intense chest pain. The class was ridiculously expensive but my parents agreed to pay for it seeing as I eat rather poorly (mostly from laziness rather than lack of skill but a beginner cooking class couldn't hurt right?) Even though I failed cooking twice in high school, and by fail I mean dropped out, I decided to give it another chance thinking I might meet some new people in Boston. But sure enough, just like high school there are no interesting people, no lack of awkward people, and just because I know one of my readers will appreciate this (you know who you are) - a real lack of hot girls (I have determined that the hot girl perception of cooking class is obviously false at this point, or maybe this was just my perception) - although this is not why I joined. I do want to learn some real skills, but instead tonight we were taught how to make muffins. I cannot see anything less important than muffins. Even learning how to make a Indonesian salad (does this exist?) would have been better but instead I had 9 muffins and some beers for dinner and now feel awful. But enough about this nonsense - lot's of stuff has been going on for me.

Two week ends ago I got to go on my first business trip. We went to Chicago and had a pretty good time. I might write about this later but it really is it's own story and might require some thinking about appropriateness. But I went to Vermont this last week end and got to see a few friends, play golf, play paint ball - which was fun but also scares the shit out of me, celebrate mother's day, and renew an old tennis rivalry with a close friend. Just a quick note there, we both played awful, but at least I broke my strings before we even started playing and I played with two broken strings as an excuse--> Best quote from the match from my friend: "yeah. I'm definitely having a meltdown - but you're gonna ride this one out with me until the end" --> which I did as I nervously lost all faith in my swing with two strings down. Just like I would have in my college tennis meltdown days (and I still didn't come to net).

Favourite current phrases:
"Off the record..." --and then you can insert anything you want, the possibilities are limitless. What a great expression!
"Schlitzed/schlitzing" --as in the lower quality beer known as schlitz, or as I like to say: the "schlitz." It sounds like some Yidish word but to me seems like a funny way to say hammered - as in "Let's get schlitzed tonight...or: "last night I was schlitzing so hard." Take it or leave it I think it's great