10 cavities

No, I didn't actually think this was possible, but today I found out I have 10 cavities when I paid (which will soon also be litteral) the dentist a visit after taking a year of absence. I know you probably don't care about my teeth but I just need a minute to complain here about the problem of incentive structures in this world. Obviously, every dentist has a different opinion over what constitutes a problem or something that actually needs fixing sooner rather than later. Dentists, like mechanics, stand to gain when they have more work and problems to fix.

Luckily, I DO NOT work on commission in sales for Equal Exchange so this problem really is avoided. I don't even get bonuses at Christmas. That way if some one is being a jerk or wants to bring in our coffee for the wrong reasons I can even say no (although yes in a small unnoticeable way my individual patronage rebate goes up slightly with each sale). But I would say this incentive based work structure - the "earn your keep" model that fuels most of America and has CEO's earning mega million dollar bonuses to sell sub-prime morgages in irresponsible manners is clearly not sustainable even if it does induce most recent college grads to work their asses off for an extra couple hundred dollars a week in exchange for having no life. There has to be some middle ground...Alpha, the alternative learning program in grades 6-8 that I went through where we each just set our own goals seemed to work just fine. Those of us with little ambition did little and for people that actually wanted to learn it was a great environment. And in the end, everyone knows, you can't beat a dead horse, or maybe that's the wrong expression, what I meant to say is some people will work hard and others won't and incentives, while well intentioned, often produce unexpected and additional results to the primary purpose.

So with all of that being said and a good rant out of my system, you might think I'm being cynical and over-the-top but I'm not. As I was leaving the dentist today, they sold me a tube of prescription tooth-paste for $15 - can I get a second opinion on this? I mean common!

Turning 24

My birthday was yesterday and I turned 24 - yeh me, happy birthday. Actually I really don't like Birthdays because they are so much more fun when you are a kid and you get to actually enjoy them - as pirates or mini-golfers or whatever, and you have friends. At 24 most of your childhood friends are gone and you are a loner along with your few close friends - or maybe I am just talking about myself. But I'm actually feeling like an adult now, which is weird, because it does happen so fast and 24 sounded so old to me when I was in college. I suppose when I'm 28 I'll say the same thing and maybe some day I'll just accept it.
I ended up spending my Birthday with my brother Adam which was nice. My (now) 4 year old neice Esther asked me why I had gotten kicked out of my old house. This was probably the highlight of the night as it was completely unprovoked and I have no idea how she knew that (I was't really kicked it, ok well, sort of, but that's another story) and it caused an uproar. But she really does remember everything. She's going to be a genious.
Anyways, now I am older, still can't grow a beard, and don't look that much different than I did 10 years ago. I'm not sure if this a good or bad thing yet.

Daily Catastrophies, etc.

So I was recently voted in as a worker-owner at Equal Exchange (I think it was in February for my one year anniversary - I can't believe it's been one year!). This was a great moment and it's pretty cool that I am now a co-owner of a $35 million company. I get a share of the profit, eventually a trip to source, voting rights, 401K, etc. I also got my one year review at this time and one of the comments from a close peer was that it seemed like there were daily catastrophes in my life, not always work-related, and that I needed improvement in this area cause it was disruptive. Well it's not that I totally disagree and I did get the name Train Wreck in college for a reason, but Ialso had some particularly bad luck right around my worker-ownership vote and one year review. For example, probably 2 or 3 coffee mugs flying off my desk after the the corner of whatever piece of clothing I was wearing smacked it as I turned to run to catch the van at the end of the day leaving in one minute (I am in a van pool for work and it leaves with or without you). Being late to a few too many times didn't help, and of course, there was the time a few weeks ago when I suddenly remembered last minute that my flight out of Logan was an hour before I thought it was and I somehow made a flight that I got to the airport 15 minutes before it was leaving after running from bus, to subway, to shuttle, to gate and arguing with baggage assholes for 10 minuts about my carry-on being too large (I did eventually get it on btw). I would say that I usually have good excuses, but I guess when this happens often enough it doesn't matter.

For awhile I've haven't been finding the time to write about these sometimes ridiculous events that I think some people might find humorous but today presented another chance:

It being the second day of Pesach (Passover), I was celebrating at my aunts an hour or so outside Boston. The reason why I didn't have my car and I was stuck at work at 5:15 running around trying to figure out how I was going to get there by 6 (I didn't have time to go back home to get my car as it was 45 minutes w/out trafffic to get there) is not even worth telling as somehow I always get myself into these situations. Needless to say, I would have pretty much missed passover if it hadn't been for a friend/co-worker who let me borrow the Equal Exchange events van (this was probably illegal) and told me "GOOOOO!!" So here I am running late (always running late), in this ridiculously colored farmer/artisan coffee van (think large multi-colored bath tub) trying to get through Boston rush hour traffic while (this is true) 1 - my GPS has run out of batteries (at least I am trying here, got the GPS for Chanukah a few months back) 2 - my cell phone is dying and I don't have directions 3 - and I am really stressing because my friend forgot to mention that the van had no gas. After quite a bit of sweaty armpits, I somehow make it 40 minutes late to my aunt's sedar with car still intact.

So the ridiculous part is that I was like the second person there! I should have known - my family is actually worse than me at being on time (really just my mom's side). So they finally show up an HOUR LATER!! and we start the Sedar but of course my aunt has these guide books from the 1950's - "Maxwell House Presents the Passover Sedar" filled with ridiculous adds for Kosher Maxwell House coffee. The language in these books was incoherent and noone really took it seriously (I always find it weird doing things like this with my family since it seems like we're always praying for God and most people in my family have never professed any belief in God -?)

Anyways, the night ended fine but this daily catastrophie stuff really does need to improve. At least for the time management thing, one suggestion from my brother has been to start enacting the fudge ratio but the rest of the world might just have to put up with me. It's all in the adjectives you use: loveable, goofy, fun, unpredictable OR unreliable, careless, clumsy, lacking foresight/common sense, whatever

To do Today

To Eat:

-Broccoli cake -
-Kale cake: check
-Carrot cake: check
(my life has become surrounded by hippies!)

Post in my blog that I've ignored for 4 months: check

Something

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRX5kH6IrkY

terrible lunch

I just got back from the A & W/Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet up in Brockton - oh god what a terrible lunch. I don't know why but I just had this terrible and sudden urge for a Cheeseburger - does that ever happen to you? It must at least be in part because I have been living with my brother and his family now for over a month and they are vegetarian. Plus, I am moving into a housing Co-op, who happens to be Vegan (at least for the shared meals), in about a week and that is an ever impending thought in my head. I'm not even a vegetarian, although I support their cause.

So anyways, I got in my car and drove the 10 miles to buy some shitty fast food, which I think, was mostly inspired by a "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" like moment, in which I either made up a memory, or this actually happened, of some nostalgia involving winning a youth soccer game and our coach taking us to A & W afterwords. Result: Everything was predictably terrible and made me feel awful. I now return to my desk to work knowing that at least the whole meal was only $5 and knowing that there really isn't such a thing as good cheap food. Although the Root beer from the tap might have been my one saving grace.

You drive me crazy

Happy Thanksgiving everyone,

After the perennial all-you-can-eat fest that my family and countless others engaged in earlier today, I'm still feeling stuffed and it's midnight. By the way, did you know 25% of food is wasted every year at Thanksgiving? and like most facts, I made that one up - but I think I heard somewhere that the number is something like that. Anyways, it's been awhile since I've posted so I thought I'd give a quick update with time for a story maybe (I can't help myself can I?).

I've been kicked out of my house as a result of some personality clashes and ageism from my annoyingly elitist roommates who ended up sucking pretty hard in the end. They just came out at me at a house meeting with no pretext or any real reason but just a general dislike of me. I've never really had anything like this happen to me so it was pretty shocking and made me pretty angry. It basically all started with this art girl roommate of mine and some paintings falling (no this was actually not my fault at all this time she just chose me as a scape goat) and the rest of the story is not even worth recounting. The ironic part though is that she is now leaving (either on her own accord or not I'm not sure sure) and since there is no lease, my one friend in the house is leaving too since he is so upset about all of this bullshit.

After living with my brother for the past month and looking for a place to live, I am moving into a housing co-op December 15th. Unfortunately it's just a sublet but it should be an interesting experience; especially learning to be a vegan for the house meals. More to come on this...

I also got a promotion to senior executive sales strategist and a $20,000 raise. Ok, that parts not true, the raise was $2,000. Okay, fine, you got me, none of it is true -but just wanted to keep you on your feet. I did however find a girl that I am now seeing who's really cool and who I am having a great time with but unfortunately lives in Brooklyn. So I'm doing that whole thing now going from Boston to NYC every few weekends (or her coming here). Actually on my last trip to the city I was at this bar and this guy started staring me down. He eventually came over and flicked me on my forehead. I was so surprised that I didn't even know what to say. After he stared me down again a little later I went over to him and asked if I knew him or if there was something he wanted? He said no and offered no further explanation. Eventually he told me to come over where he was standing with this girl and he asked me if I could help him. I nervously asked in what way and told me to just relax and since this wasn't making any sense to me and I was starting to really not like where this was going, I just came out with it and asked if he was gay and told him I was not. He then replied that it was impossible that I wasn't gay and proceeded to move in on me as the girl next to him stepped in front of him and told me to fuck off and that he was her boy. Bewildered, I jumped away and started by for my girlfriend, who, this whole time, I don't know how he didn't see her as we were on the dance floor together.

I have no idea why things like this happen to me but this wasn't the first time. I apparently attract gay men (this was the second black dude too). The first one, I will never forget, told me as I just finished doing Karaoke at this bar in Minneapolis (don't ask me what song until I've had a few drinks - oh wait, better yet, don't do that cause then I might do Karaoke again), anyways, he said: "little Jewish Boy, you drive me caaaarazy." Surprise surprise I ended up running from this guy too. oh good times