Parents

We are approaching two weeks of parenthood and it's been an interesting and challenging journey so far. It certainly is life changing, amazing, and a sleep-depriving experience as I had heard going into this. Simultaneously, it has revealed an incredible kindness that I would only have guessed could exist within my neighborhood and wider community of support. Neighbor's we've talked to a handful of times and wave hello at normally have brought food, wine, baby toys, and started a meal train for us. When our friend Jon walked Sherlock while we were in the hospital a group of moms cheered as they saw him and knew the baby must be on the way. Beyond that, friends and colleagues have sent us cards, stuffed animals, and other gifts and we are reminded everyday how joyous the life of a new human being is.

But all of this also reminds us about the privileged life we lead and how our new little girl, who we named Helena after my grandmother Hellen, also has quite the head start in life. Helena has two parents, in-laws and other family to help, a duala, and if she needed it lactation consultants. This is all of course in addition to the meal trains from friends, baby registries, and safe nice houses with educated parents who can take time off from work and research best practices and where and how to get help. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of stuff to learn (see this video for a good example) and by no means are we doing this "right" as first time parents relying heavily on the advice of YouTube and other parents who each have different babies. But we are making an effort certainly and we try not to let her (or ourselves) cry too much without giving her attention.

Speaking of crying and it's invariable lack of sleep, it is exhausting and probably the hardest parts of this. I'm doing ok. I don't mind changing diapers or putting her clothing on; obviously Maya has the much harder part with the feeding. Getting out for a few pick-up games of soccer and tennis after the first week or so locked inside was liberating. But the idea of putting my life truly aside for another human being is a new idea that will take some time getting used to. I am ok with giving up some things in my life and I can't think of anything more meaningful than this but I think as she grows up I will have much tougher choices to face between what I do for her and what I do for me.